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PhotoGuide to Exotic Animal Paradise
Location:
Strafford, MO - 12 miles east of Springfield, MO
Driving directions:
Along the southern outer road of I-44, between Exits 88 and 96.
Features:
A 9 mile drive through 400 acres filled with over 3000 "exotic" animals. There's a petting area for the kids and a go cart track in the snack bar area. There was some sort of theater in the snack bar area that didn't seem to be in operation. They had several open sided buses that I guess they used for group tours or if you didn't want to drive.
My impressions:
I hadn't been to this place in 20 years when my grandmother decided she'd like to go here. Here's an essay I wrote about my remembrances of my visit 20 years ago, written the night before this visit. We got tossed out when Mr Ranger saw my dad punch a moose in the nose. Read: Lions and lions and tigers and tigers and bears and bears
Since they closed Dogpatch, USA in Harrison, Arkansas, this is now the largest hillbilly redneck tourist trap in existence. There are signs everywhere in the park telling you what channel to tune your CB to, "...just in case there's trouble." From the looks of things, 98% of the animals are goats and deer. They've eaten all the grass. It's built on both sides of a valley, and all the dirt has washed down into the bottom of the valley and out of the "paradise", leaving behind pure rock. There clearly weren't shelters for all of the animals, so they live their life begging and sleeping on the rocks.
They must not feed the animals enough, because all three thousand are beggars. The attraction sells bags of food (for the animals, but I'd guess that more than a few hillbillies use the treats to quiet their always screaming and usually shoeless kids) at the start of the drive and at the half-way point. Because of this, the animals all gathered at these two locations. To combat this problem, there are numerous areas separated by cattle guards. So the animals adapt and all gather at these locations. In the road, on the car, in your window if you're foolish enough to leave the window down, etc.
The brochure has the audacity to imply that you could drive a convertible through this place. I can't stress what a bad idea this would be. I had to roll up my window and partially throttle an ostrich to stop its attack, and 20 yrs ago my dad got us thrown out for punching a moose.
It's really tough to drive through this place. It's a 9 mile long single lane road composed of broken asphalt, gravel, dirt, mud, etc. It doesn't look like it's ever been patched. In a few places it's very steep, so I wouldn't try this in the winter time, rain, etc. I drove a new $50,000 Cadillac through this place. I'd honk, but the dang deer and llama and goats just wouldn't move. I ended up hitting 4 deer and got a three foot long scratch down the side of the car.
I mentioned the half-way point earlier. There were no animals of significance in the second half of this drive. A few deer, and that was it. Do yourself a favor and skip it.
Do yourself another favor (as if you could at this point by doing anything other than demanding your money back and leaving immediately) and drive really slow right after you enter the main gate. This is where the most exotic of the animals are located. There was a small giraffe, an elephant, a couple of camels, a few ostriches, some small caged monkeys, a couple of tigers and a leopard in cages too far away to see, and some black bears really far away. They advertise that you can stay as long as you like, but they don't tell you that there's no where to pull over and look at the animals, or that you can't go back and see the first half of the tour. As far as I can tell the second half, which sucks, can be toured an infinite number of times.
The woodpeckers have had a go at the sign, but it says:
"KEEP WINDOWS UP AROUND BEARS AND MONKEYS"
You should probably keep them up at all other times as well. Here's a few shots of the bear:
This is why the telephoto lens is useful. These are heavily cropped in PhotoShop. The bear would've died of a heart attack before he got to the car.
Small kids might enjoy this place, but I certainly didn't. I think they'd enjoy the zoo more anyway, I know I certainly did. I'd only recommend this place to people who can't walk the distances required at the zoo. It took about 3 hrs to drive the entire distance through this hell hole. Take something to snack on, as the food there looked and smelled particularly nasty.
Lions and Bears and Go Carts! Oh My!
Photo tips:
From a photographic standpoint, it's almost impossible. You can't get out of the car or the little and not-so-little beggars surround and attack you. You can't roll the windows down, because the animals stick their heads into the car, and ostriches in particular will attack if they think you have food. I didn't, and they still attacked me.
There's a small water feature (a stream and several smallish waterfalls). I couldn't really tell, but I think its source might be a natural spring centered in the bear cage. It flows from here down to one of the many muddy lakes in the park. Deer were using this as a watering hole and as a place to cool off in the summer heat.
There are several viewing platforms for the animals in cages. Unfortunately the tigers and leopard used them for shade and I didn't get a decent shot.
Photo Equipment - what you should take:
- You'll need a polarizing filter, since you'll be shooting through the car window glass.
- You'll need a wide angle lens for most of the shots, as the animals are right there.
- You'll need a telephoto lens, because all the really exotic animals are way away from the car in chain-link cages. Also useful to crop out the exposed rock, which is everywhere.
- For a good part of the time, you'll be shooting in the shade, so unless you're using a warm color film, you'll need a warming filter (81A, 812, 81B).
- You'll need a fast film because of the shade and all the filters you're using. I got only a few decent slides out of an entire roll of Fuji Velvia (ISO50).
- Forget about a tripod, there will be no chance to get out of the car and use it.
- Unless you want footage of animals begging, forget the camcorder. Second thought, it might be useful at the trial as evidence of what the yak did to the fender of your Buick.
- Take lots of film. I shot 200 frames and got 4-5 decent images. The film for sale at the gift shop was all no-name stuff at the outrageous price of $3.99 for 12 frames.
- When you get them processed, get large prints so that you can crop out the hood ornament, zebra spit on the windshield, rocks, etc.
- Take Windex and a roll of paper towels - you'll frequently need them to remove the llama snot.
A Few More Photos:
Other Attractions in the area:
If you enjoyed this, you might also like Bass Pro Shops - The world's only bait shop marketed as a tourist destination.
If you enjoyed this place, you should definitely travel 30 miles south to Branson, MO. Be sure to stop by Silver Dollar City.
Fantastic Caverns is another attraction you ride through. A good way to beat the heat (Caves in these parts are 63 deg F year-round). And it's right across I-44 from the Exotic Animal Paradise.
If you like to fish, Bennett Spring State Park is only about 45 minutes East in Lebanon, MO.
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